In The Garage
by Eighty-Five
Summary: The novel In The Garage inspired me to write this. Sasori and Deidara are in high school but Deidara is labeled as a 'freak of nature' due to his hands. Anyways, I suck at summaries and there is sasodei.
1. Preview

**Hello everybody! This story was inspired by a book I read called In The Garage. It is a very good book and I think you all should read it. This is just a preview so please tell me if I should continue with it.**

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_There will always be shit that happens in your life that will make you wonder what the hell god was thinking when he made humans, what happened to Akasuna no Sasori was one of those things._

_-Altered In The Garage Quote_

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Aug. 12th

I pull out my clay and squish it between my fingers. The slippery, wet material against my pale skin is such a contrast. I look out the window to find the cool autumn breeze caress the tall elms in my backyard. Inspiration comes and quickly, like lightning, my skilled hands shape and form the structure. Like a million times before I step back to admire my work.

Soon I'm looking for Stella and dad. I find them arguing about dad's poker score. Dad is going blind so he uses that for an excuse to cheat. I pull out the newly created sculpture to reveal a scorpion. "What do you think?", I say. Stella and dad look appreciatively. I smile before continuing. "I can't wait to show the guys, especially Sasori. He may not appreciate true art, but I think this one will be different." The room stills. I'm frozen in time and the events plow over me, driving me into the ground. I remember, Sasori is gone and I feel sick like someone has just slapped me. A thick fog of emotion clouds my brain. I'm almost surprised to find myself left

Gasping

For

Air.

Aug. 14th

I've never gone to church before and I'm definitely not looking forward to this occasion. I'm standing here in a rented tux trying to give my best friend's eulogy and I want to scream. All throughout my life I've wanted to be somebody else. Now more than ever.

They are gawking at me. Everyone. They stare at my hands without shame. I'm not a circus freak like they seem to believe, but still they sit and pick at me. They pick out every flaw, every distortion and everything WRONG. Everything is wrong. I stand numb, frozen. Listening to the chairs scrape across the floors and the eh-hems echoing up into the high roof and walls. My eyes glaze over like the stained glass windows behind me.

So I stand, here, in front of god, the preist, and everybody sniffling and wiping their tears only to replay

Every

Single

Event

Of my so called life, leading up to a horrific end of the boy who was my best friend for well over half of my life. All I can do is think about how it began.

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**How was that for a preview? A good first chapter? I hope you liked it. The next ones will be longer. Reviews are love!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here we go guys! The second chapter is finally up! Sorry about that delay D: anyways, ENJOY!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it, nor do I own the book **_**"In the Garage".**_** I wish I did, but I don't because I am not awesome enough. :'(**

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_If God made humans in his image, does that mean he's screwed up too?_

_-In the Garage_

My mother walked out on us when I was four years old. I remember three events relating to her existence, only three. As painful as these memories are, I cannot forget them. No matter how hard I try they continue to plague me in my dreams. I think that there's something I just can't let go of. Not yet anyways because letting go would mean losing her too, and I won't be able to handle anything like that yet. Maybe not ever.

_Event #1-_ Mother takes me to a playground and pushes me on the swing. I want mother to be happy too, but she is not smiling. I do not pry into this. Soon some other kids come to the park with their mothers as well and Mother leaves. She ignores me when I walk over to her to get a snack. Mother won't acknowledge me. She pushes me away. She pretends to watch some of the other kids so that the other mothers won't think that there is something wrong with her for having such a screwed up freak for a son. I remember this makes me

Very sad,

And it

HURTS

Inside.

_Event #2-_ I'm only a little kid and it's early, maybe 7 o'clock. The rain is plunking on the car window and I feel sad. The sky is crying like me, except I only cry on the inside. Mother always said she hates crybabies. The smoke from mother's cigarette reaches my nose in the back seat and I sneeze. She jerks straight up and hits her head against the steering wheel and I count them, bang, bang, bang.

"Mommy?"

"Shut up!" and she snaps. She screams and swears. I hide my face with my hands, my god-awful hands. I whimper, she turns to me.

"Stop your goddamn crying!" I cry harder, "I said stop it!" She reaches her hands around my throat and shakes me. My head hits the back of the seat and everything goes black. The last thing I remember then was mother getting out of the car yelling "I don't want to see your freaky little hands ever again!" and Mother's perfect heels make a perfect exit from my life. Tap, tap, tap.

_Event #3-_ The sun pulls me from my restless sleep and I wake, still in the back seat of the car. I look out the window and see a lady, but she is not my mother. She asks me if I know where my mother is. I do not. She scrunches her face up and leaves to the shopping mall. Every time I look for Mother when the glass doors slide open, she is not there. My head is sore and throbbing so I lay down. The lady comes back and there is a police man with her. They ask me to open the door, but they are strangers. The car is hot and it's getting harder to breathe. There is a group of people forming outside the car. The crowd makes me nervous. They beckon for me to join them, but I know they just want to hurt me. I scream but I do not cry. Nobody likes a crybaby. Mother still has not come back. The lady won't go away. I try to hide but there is nowhere to go. There is a banging noise and the door opens. I am frightened and I shut my eyes. The police man drags me away kicking and screaming because I do not want to leave. Now I am really crying because I want Mother to come back, somehow I still love her. I still love her perfect image.

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A few days after Mother leaves Aunty Stella comes. She comes in a cab and I run up to it scream "Mum, mum!" Stella steps out. I love Stella, but I realize that I really, really wanted Stella to be Mother.

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My time with Sasori started like any other friendship. You know, the whole a friend of a friend of a friend just happens to be sticking up for you in front of a fifth grade line up of bullies with dodge balls.

"Freak, freak!" They chant and their words make me dizzy. I want to get away from it but the voices just won't STOP. Something hits me and it stings. They are pelting their dodge balls at me and I can't escape. The bricks of the school wall are digging into my back but I won't cry. I just want to hole up and DIE, but I will not cry. Then the new kid shows up. He's running towards me and I think he's going to hit me so I cover myself with my hands. At the last second he stops and spins around so fast the gravel shoots up around his worn out sneakers. He holds out his hands and yells for them to stop. Someone throws a ball at him but he catches it and hurls it at the other boy's face with amazing speed. Somebody in the crowd giggles.

"How does it make you feel?" He shouts. The group splits up and mumbles under its breath. I know they are talking about me. The boy stands for a few seconds before slowly turning to face me. He then offers his hand and offers to pick me up out of the slump I did not realize I fell into. I hesitate and look away.

"It's okay, I don't care," he assures. I then grasp his hand and at that moment my life changed, it changed because Sasori was in it.

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It was my tenth birthday. Stella, Dad and Sasori are there. Sasori hands me a large box wrapped in shiny blue paper. I'm nearly trembling with excitement and Sasori leans in on the front two legs of his chair. He must be anxious because his eyes are darting around the room and he can't seem to sit still. He has nothing to worry about though; I would love anything he gives me simply because it would be from him.

Dad says, "Deidara, we wanted to surprise you so we all put our wallets together to buy you this. It was Sasori's idea, but Stella and I might have helped out." I look at the box; it's perfect and almost a shame to unwrap. Curiosity gets the better of me though. The wrapping is peeled away carefully and everyone holds their breath around me. I peer into the box and gasp. On my tenth birthday Sasori gave me the best gift I ever received. On my tenth birthday, Sasori gave me my escape. (1)

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**WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO! Finally! The second chapter is up :D Wow that took forever but I was having an internal debate, I did not know which story I wanted to continue because I had two other candidates. I kept putting my decision of later and later and later until HOLY COW! A year had already passed. I finally decided because I already had the first chapter of this one up I would just finish it first. Hope you liked it! I also hope you all enjoyed your holidays too.**

**(1)- Use your imagination guys, what is basically the one thing in common that Sasori and Deidara have in common with each other? ART! So just assume Sasori gave Deidara some sort of certificate for lessons in art school or something to introduce him to clay sculpting. That's what I had in mind. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto Shippuuden or any characters in it.**

**Hey guys, so I was bored and decided to type out another chapter, hope you like it :D**

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_As you grow up you learn everything has its place, and you learn to stay in yours._

_-In the Garage_

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Even now when we're 16, Sasori and I enjoy each other. I still don't see why he likes me though, Sasori is the kind of guy that everyone wants to be and I'm… not. Now as Sasori and I sit silently eating lunch in utter boredom, we are happy. We are always happy because sometimes we are content with just being bored with each other. Sometimes we've said enough, even when we haven't even opened our mouths. Maybe it's because we understand each other. Sasori and I both lost our mothers. Actually, Sasori lost both of his parents. We also have a creative side. We both excel in art and music, and even if our views do not always match up, we always respect each other's work. In a particularly fiery argument, our art teacher will tell us we argue like and old married couple and we blush up to our ears.

Maybe it's something deeper though, some sort of instinct we were born with that makes us trust each other unconditionally. I know because everyone has their secrets, even Sasori, high on his pedestal, perfected for everyone to see. I know because I am Sasori's secret.

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I reach into my locker and pull out my science text book. A little red note flaps as it drifts to the ground and I pick it up. I shove it deep inside my pocket because I really don't want Sasori to see it. I've gotten so many of them that I know what it says already, but I will still open it up when Sasori's gone and it will still feel like someone has taken the floor out from under me. Sasori always has a fit when he finds out about the notes I get from his fan girls.

Later when I do finally read it, the note says,

_Deidara, you freak, I don't see how Sasori can stand you._

The note says,

_How can he eat at the same table as you without spewing his guts?_

The note says,

_I hope you __**DIE**__._

And although I feel like I want to disintegrate behind a school dumpster because of the hurtful, perfect cursive writing, I smile. I wonder if being perfect makes one lose so many brain cells, you can no longer spell_ anonymous_.

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Sometimes I'm afraid that Sasori will look into my eyes and see that it's all an act. It's all an act and that this stuff bothers me. I wonder if he knows I know he acts sometimes too.

Sasori and the guys like me for me. They aren't afraid to be seen hanging with a freak. I meet them at the skate park. When I arrive I'm just in time to see Sasori slam into the pavement trying to hang in the air. My heart has stopped. It must have just been a few seconds but it seems like the longest moments of my life before Sasori jumps to his feet, flicks away blood gushing from his nose and says, "Sick! Did you see that Dei?" I give him shaky thumbs up and smile weakly. I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

I see Ino and Sakura at the park. I wave to them but they can't seem to pry their eyes off of Sasori's crotch long enough to wave back. They are the only girls in the whole school who are not mean to me, but I'm sure it's only because I'm Sasori's best friend. It seems they like to shamelessly flirt with him, even if he doesn't flirt back. They put on an act like I'm not a mutilated freak and I put on an act like I don't know they lost their virginity at the age of 13.

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The smell of wood hangs in the air. I've never told Sasori how much I really love the smell of his room. Sasori has left to get refreshments so I get up and stretch my legs. On the far side of his room, sitting on a high up shelf is his puppet collection. I reach out to touch them and I find the one I gave him way back on his 12th birthday. I think _why does he still have that?_ I slowly pull it off the shelf and start to examine it. It's beautifully crafted and I was so absorbed in it that I did not notice that Sasori had entered the room.

"It's my favourite," he says, "it reminds me of you."

While I was lost in thought Sasori already put down the drinks and has moved substantially closer to me. He reaches forward and brushes my fringe away from my eye. His blood red hair shimmers in the sunlight.

"Even if it reminds me of you," Sasori leans closer and I can feel his hot breath on my sensitive and exposed skin, "I think your prettier." Then Sasori closes the distance between our lips and I blush. I reach out to fist his hair but the phone rings and we jump apart. I reach out and touch my burning lips before I head towards the door. I know it's Sasori's grandma calling to say she will be home soon and the last thing I want is for her to walk in on us in a the middle of a makeout session. I'm sure as I stumble the rest of the way to my house Sasori has already hung up the phone and has recognized my absence. Then, for some reason, I think of those two drinks left untouched on the top of his dresser.

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The next day the gang gathers in Sasori's garage.

"You should have a really good singer," I say, not even realizing it. I'm embarassed and cover my mouth. We had just been listening to the band on video from the last gig.

Kisame chokes on his pepsi. He stutters out "What's wrong with me?" My face is flaming but I continue.

"Face it Kisame, you play a mean bass but you sound like a dying animal."

Kakuzu laughs, "Burned!" he says. Kisame laughes along too though because he knows it's true. Suddenly Sasori has an idea. He leaves the garage only to come back with some sharpies and a stack of paper. (1)

**Wanted Singer!**

Male/female

must like punk/emo

Auditions 7pm Fri. in the Garage

123 Queen St.

We split up and hang up the signs. I'm alone with Sasori, but right now I do not feel like flying, I feel like drowning in my own **Shit**. I know he's upset about yesterday, I do not usually walk out on him but I had alot on my mind yesterday.

"Sasori, about yesterday..." I start.

"It's okay Deidara, I know you don't like my grandmother" he says.

"It's not like I don't like her, she doesn't like me!"

"Well she does think that we're, you know, _together_" Sasori says, emphasizing the 'together'.

"But aren't we?" I inquire. My legs have gone to jell-o because _what if this doesn't mean anything?_

"Well yeah, but she isn't supposed to know that." Sasori gives me a coy smile and his eyes are shining so I know that it's genuine. He steals a quick kiss before dragging me back to the Garage. My heart is in my stomach and I breathe a sigh of releif. I'm grining stupidly, and I'm trying to stop, but resistance is futile. I'm so sure people were giving me strange looks, and this time it wasn't just because of my hands, although I'm sure they were staring at them too.

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** Wow, this chapter was originally only 850 words so I had to lengthen it. Now I've introduced Ino and Sakura who will actually eventually get the story to take off AND FINALLY SOME SASODEI! Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it. :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! Yay, I actually can't believe I got a chapter up for this week because it's the middle of exam week, but I seriously needed a break. I had to write a whole short story for the ELA one plus about, 5 Essays D: So yeah, I hope you guys enjoy this :) Please R.&R.**

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_Vanity is like a drug, the more you take of it the more brain cells you fry._

_-In the Garage_

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Sasori tells me he loves my hands. "Nothing is perfect," he says, "I'd rather have a flaw on the outside like you Deidara, than on the inside like me. Unlike you, I don't know what to expect from other people. I don't even know what to expect from myself." Sasori is depressed. For fear of not being accepted he can no longer be himself. I wrap my arms around his waist and rest my chin on his head. We fall back on the bed and I whisper in his ear.

"I love you." Sasori looks up at me with wide eyes, he looks like he is about to cry but he is no longer sad. I realize I never told him that before. I start to panic a bit. What if he doesn't feel the same? What if I just blew everything we had and I can no longer see him ever again? But then everything melts away and my heart flutters into my throat.

"I love you too Dei."

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I decide to film the auditions on Friday for the guys. Nobody else has the common sense to screw in a light bulb never mind work a camera. The rest of the guys practice a little while we wait for people to show up. The sound real good but we're all pretty anxious. Our anxiety only furthered when the first guy showed up in Cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat.

"Y'all are real good! Know any country?" this guy… was he serious? What a way to start the day.

"Erm… No," says Kakuzu.

"Well that's a darn shame now isn't it?" and just like that, without another word him and his western drawl walked away just as sudden as he came. His spurs on his cowboy boots jingled with each step. When he was far out of sight Kisame let out a string of giggles.

The next few auditions were terrible. One guy just screamed into the microphone, not saying anything, just screaming until Sasori stopped him. Another guy must have thought the sign said must like 'punk and emus' because he came in wearing a full emu suit. The whole band laughed so hard we almost pissed our pants. Where the hell he got it I don't know but I would pay to see that again. Six more people came in and weren't too bad, I still think I could make big money selling this video or using it as some sort of blooper reel.

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On Saturday I rush to Sasori's place to show him and the guys the tape. I added music to the background and cut out what we didn't want. When I arrive I see a boy auditioning. His hair is long and black and his bangs hang in his face. His eyes are closed and when he opened his mouth, the most beautiful sound in the world came out.

His voice was low and smooth and he made my mouths hang open. He was amazing. No accompany or anything he just sang. It was slow and sweet and made my brain melt. It was over far too soon and when I finally opened my eyes I was staring right into his. They were so deep, and so full of emotion. I could not move and by the look of it nobody else could either.

"So, did you like it?"

I soon found out that the band's new lead singer's name was Itachi Uchiha.

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To celebrate we all head out to 'The Pit' to get trashed. I swear I could see Kisame checking out Itachi's ass but we all know Kisame would never admit it. Only his real friends know his secret too. Kisame is bisexual but if his parents found out he would be kicked out of his house and onto the streets. A little like Sasori's grandmother now that I think about it…

I'm supposed to stay at Sasori's house tonight but as he stumbles past the front door his grandmother is waiting for him. Before I enter the kitchen from the entrance I hear her yelling. She tells him he shouldn't be getting wasted at such a young age. She then says what a bad influence I am. She doesn't want Sasori to hang out with a freak like me. I think I hear a scraping sound and Sasori starts to heave but there are black dots clouding my vision and there is pressure on the sides of my head that make me want to burst.

His grandma says "I know you've been friends a long time now, but you should stop seeing that boy. Find someone smarter, richer, prettier; I don't care just as long as it's not him." Sasori's eyes go wide and mine clench shut. I slam the door I had been inching towards as I run out of his house and back to the safety of my room.

I suppose grandma Chiyo was left alone in the kitchen because Sasori seemed to get tired of listening to her too. I feel the tears start to build up but the pressure behind my eyes is not released. Nobody likes a crybaby.

Why does the floor of my room look a lot closer than it did a second ago?

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**Wow yes this was short.**

**Ok there you go. Hope you enjoyed it! This was one of my favourite chapters but I think I botched the audition part of it :/ I revised that part so many times but it just doesn't seem to flow. Thanks again for reading and please wish me luck on my exams! I might need it…..**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys, vacation time over D: hope you didn't miss me too much. Here we go, after a pretty long break the next chapter is now up so please enjoy and R&R. ;)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own**

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_True friends are gifts from god, don't turn them away_

_-In the Garage_

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Sasori calls the next day. I don't answer right away. I'm scared he'll tell me it's over, I'm not good enough for him but I can't resist. He ends up telling me the exact opposite. He says he would never leave me and his grandmother doesn't understand. Although I want to, again I won't cry. He wants to see me. I tell him I have homework to do, but I immediately regret it. I hate telling him lies. I just need to get away for a little while. Before he hangs up, he tells me that he loves me. He tells me that I'm beautiful.

I begin to sculpt,

And I can feel him around me.

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After school we go to the mall, just me and Sasori. The mall is far from the real world. It's the kind of place that perfect people go to where they can buy their perfect clothes to put on their perfect bodies. Sasori has a perfect body, but you didn't need to know that. I probably want to be at the mall as much as an innocent man wants to be put in the electric chair.

After a couple of burgers Sasori and I decide to shop around a little. I need a new pair of gloves anyways so I pull him into one of the stores that I know will have them. I walk up to the rack and try on a few pairs. After I finally find something suitable I turn to Sasori and am a little surprised to see him frowning.

"I wish you wouldn't cover them up."

I don't know what to so. I'm standing there with my mouth gaping while Sasori peels off my gloves and kisses my palms. I blush furiously.

"Will you take off the gloves if I held your hand, Deidara?" Sasori rarely uses my whole name so I nod my head slowly and we walk out of the store with our fingers intertwined. Passer Byers send us disapproving stares but for once I didn't care. Being with Sasori made me forget all about how screwed up my life truly was. I enjoyed the feeling of sparks shooting up my arm from the contact, so I smiled a very real smile.

When Sakura and Ino call out from the parking lot to give me ride on Wednesday I turn up the volume on my mp3 player and pretend I can't hear them. With my hood up and my hands shoved deep into my pockets, I don't have to hear them either. I get about 30 feet before Ino starts to trail me with her car, still calling my name so when the next bus rolls up I rush in and grab the closest seat. As much as I would have liked to slide into the back of Ino's BMW, I know they only wanted to gossip about Sasori and talk about themselves. People like me just aren't meant to be around people like them, everybody knows that.

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Me and Sasori skip school the next day and head to the beach. We take a couple of acoustic guitars and screw around with some of the melodies and tunes from some of our songs. When my back was turned some of the guys from school who also skipped strode by. When they get close enough on of them hits me on the back of the head hard and grabs my ponytail.

"Sometimes freaks deserve to be hit," says a boy whose name I think is Sasuke. Sasori's guitar clatters to the ground and his fist comes in contact with the boy's face.

"A bastard like you deserves to be hit," he says and the boys leave. Sasori comes up to me and lightly places his lips on my forming bruise. "I love you." he says, "No matter what other people say, your not a freak." His voice fills me up like a couple of burgers, but I don't feel like puking afterwards.

Sasori's grandma found out that he skipped school to hang out with me. I could hear Chiyo's words echo in my head.

"_What were you thinking? Deidara's a freak, you can't be seen hanging around with him, people will think that you're a freak too. That would be social suicide."_

I think that Chiyo spends so much time worrying about what other people think, she doesn't care about what Sasori thinks.

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**Thanks for reading! Sorry this chapter was so split up and amazingly short D:**


	6. Chapter 6

**Yey! Another chapter! Hopefully you guys like this one, please R&R.**

**You know it's never really occurred to me, but I think I forgot to put in a warning… Well, better late then never.**

**Warning: Will contain yaoi, don't like, you probably have a life. There is also death in this story in later chapters, don't like, grow a pair. This story also may contain self-harm and depression. Don't like, well, I don't either but deal with it.**

**Disclaimer: I –still- do not own Naruto… yet**

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_Silence between two people can be awkward but silence between two friends can be comforting_

_-In the Garage_

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Sakura and Ino corner me in a hall at school. They politely invite me over to Ino's house after school for a chat. I agree to go, but only to get them off my back for the time being. Sasori also left on a basketball tournament this morning so I guess I might like some company later on as well. This is how I found myself nearly having a panic attack as Ino pulled into her driveway.

Ino sneaks her BMW into the very packed three car garage and the three of us step out of the car. I get a full view of the garage that is probably the same size as my house, minus the yard. A maid in an outfit I only thought they had in movies steps into the garage to greet us but as I walk by she sticks her nose up at me. I follow Ino and Sakura up the spiral staircase to Ino's room so I could wait outside her door while they change out of their school clothes. They whisper to eachother and I can hear words every so often but the sentences are so jumbled up it might as well be gibberish. They say Sasori's name multiple times though and I feel myself flinch every time. I don't know why I'm being so paranoid. Sasori loves me. He would never go after these two floozies, would he?

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Sakura and Ino come out of the room wearing something the hookers down Main St. would wear. They have so much skin showing I don't know where to look. If they were trying to flaunt their perfect bodies they succeeded, but if they were trying to seduce me to get some information on Sasori again they surely failed. It really was distraction though. I kept my eyes down as they lead me back downstairs and into the recroom.

If Ino's garage was the size of my house then her recroom is the size of a small country. People could hide out in one the storage closets for years and never be discovered. Now that I think about it, I'm paranoid that there really is someone behind one of those doors.

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The portraits of Ino's relatives that hang around the room look down on me. They are able to taunt me with their unrealistic perfection and they are life-like. They are so life-like in fact that I can almost see them twist their faces into a cruel but beautiful sneer as I walk by. I do not belong in a place like this and it seems they tell me this as well, but Ino ignores them so I try to ignore them as well.

Even thought they pester me with questions about Sasori and the band when we're playing pool or watching horror flicks on the big screen T.V. I think it's worth it. The fact that Ino and Sakura are finding the time to set this up, not only pretend to pay attention to me, makes me forget about the stares from those unmoving eyes. I feel like we really could be friends, if I weren't so human and they weren't so god-like, or maybe it's just that trying so hard to get them to like me made me forget what made them hate me. I'm not so human anyways.

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Sasori is finally back. I almost didn't last those two days he was gone. We grab a booth at the back of a dark café after school to talk. I ask him about his trip and he counters with questions about the boys and the band. Everything is right when Sasori laughs. I see his eyes light up and it makes me smile. I wonder if my eyes light up as well.

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The gang stands in line at McDicks. They're talking about music, something about harmony or lyrics or something. I don't really pay attention but I snap back to life when we get to our table. I lean over towards Kisame and say "What the hell is that?" because he pulls out a salad from his paper bag.

"It's a salad," he says, "I'm on a diet."

The gang all throws fries at him and Itachi says, "Why Kisame? Your not even fat."

"Other people think I'm fat. I guess not everybody can be like Sasori," Kisame smirks and the fries now have a new target, but even with fries in his hair Sasori looks right into my eyes and I can see doubt in his. The gang resumes the conversation from before but I feel hollow in my chest.

Sasori has never been afraid to be himself before. I still find solace in his embrace, but with both of us trying to be something we're not who is left to be the rock? We're losing ourselves and I'm sure he knows it too because Sasori's embrace is not as strong as it once was.

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Ino and Sakura invite me to go shopping with them, they want me to hold their bags. Sadly, the mall doesn't feel as safe as if did when I was with Sasori, but I suck it up and plaster my best shit-eating grin on my face for their amusement. I pretend it doesn't bother me but I shrink back into myself when they are not looking. Maybe, if I hold their bags high enough, they might keep me around.

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Later I sit in Sasori's room with him. Sasori looks deep into my eyes and grabs my shoulders.

"Deidara," he says, "be careful with Ino and Sakura okay? Girls like them have hidden agendas and I don't ever want to see you hurt." Sasori pulls me into an embrace. I can see that he is worried so I push my head into the crook of his neck and breathe in his scent. Everything would be okay, if only this moment was forever. For a short time, I am safe. I know Sasori is right, but Ino and Sakura are perfect and it's hard to say '_No_'.

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Outside the skate park Sakura and Ino find me. I wonder what they are doing hanging around here scince everybody has already headed off and I'm the only one left. Supposivly they want to have a conversation so I decide to play along with them.

"You want to know what I heard?" sasy Ino, "Apparently scientists have invented a new material that a closeted gay person can wear and prevent anyone from guessing that he is gay." I tense up inside. They've figured it out and now they've come to ruin my life. Sasori is going to hate me and never want to talk to me again.

My breathing becomes shallow but I choke out, "No way, hmm," and my voice is strained.

"Yeah I heard about that, it costs about $50 a yard or something doesn't it?" supplies Ino.

"I bet politicians would buy it, they would hate it if their secrets got out."

"I think the mayor is gay."

"Oh yeah! Has to be gay."

I relax a little now because they haven't forced the conversation on me. What was I thinking? A material that covers up sexuality? The logical part of my brain must have turned off but I know that if they keep pressing me I'm bound to let something slip about me and Sasori that couldn't be taken back. I really need to get out of here and I might be able to make and escape if I'm quiet, but Ino and Sakura have now turned to me. I don't really know what to say but something comes out of my mouth that resembled, "Oh yeah, definately gay," and I laugh nervously.

Sakura and Ino smile sweetly, but they look dangerous. If anyone has ever tried to tell you that the devil doesn't wear four inch heels and _Prada,_ then they have lied to you. They are also lying if they try to convice you there isn't two.

"Hey Dei," I flinch because that's Sasori's name for me, "you've know Sasori for a long time, haven't you_?" _Sakura asks me.

"Uh, yeah..."

"He's really hot right? I mean, if I were best friends with him I probably would have tried to get in his pants by now." Sakura smirks when she noticed my discomfort. I would really love to retaliate by mentioning that both her and Ino have tried to get in his pants mulitple times but have been denied just as many. I cringe instead and look away because I don't want Sakura to see through me when I am about to lie.

"Are you trying to imply something, Sakura?" I ask, but I really hope that she isn't, "I don't like him."

"Reeeeeeally?" says Ino, "One might think that being best friends would have a much stronger bond."

"We do," I tell them almost a little too quickly, "Sasori _is_ my best friend. We tell eachother everything and anything and I'm sure he thinks so too." Sakura and Ino share a look that I don't like. It's sly and there's a hidden meaning that only girls can understand. I want to get away again, why won't they just leave me alone?

"Sasori keeps a journal, right?" one of them asks and my head snaps up before I realize I was staring at the ground, "Have you ever read it?"

I glare at them.

"I don't read Sasori's journal, I mean, those are his private thoughts," I tell them.

"But your his best friend!" protests Ino, "Sakura and I _always_ let eachother read our diaries."

"Yeah, I mean, would there be a reason he wouldn't want you to read his journal?" asks Sakura.

"I know!" says Ino, "Maybe he's written something bad about you in it and he just doesn't want you to read it."

I don't know how to react. Sasori would never write something bad about me anywhere, would he? My throat is dry and I try to swallow but it's impossible. What if Sasori wants to break up? He does think I'm a freak, I knew it. My worst fears have come true and the love of my life hates me. I've made up my mind. I **have** to see what's in that journal.

Thoughts of a failing relationship are hovering over my head and without notice a noose has been hung around my neck.

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**Yahoooo! Done. This chapter seriously took me longer to type out than it should have, but what the hay, it's done. AND ITS WAAAAAAAAAAAY LONGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope you enjoyed it! (Even if it was mostly about Sakura and Ino manipulation Deidara D:) Please R&R! **

**A special thanks to all of you who have reviewed and favourited or put my story on alert. I really appreciate it and it makes me feel gooey inside :) For all of you readers who keep comming back every chapter,**

**I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**KTHXBAI**


	7. Chapter 7

**Yey! Another chapter! Hopefully you guys enjoy this one, please R&R! I'm so sorry for the very long time it took for this story to be typed out and posted. Don't hate me too much. :/**

**Warning: Will contain yaoi, don't like, you probably have a life. There is also death in this story in later chapters, don't like, grow a pair. This story also may contain self-harm and depression. Don't like, well, I don't either but deal with it.**

**Disclaimer: I –still- do not own Naruto… yet**

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_Laughter can bandage wounds, but it can't take away the sting._

_ -In the Garage_

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Sitting with the boys in the garage I feel dissed. I have no idea what they are talking about and I think that they are ignoring me altogether today. Everything is so messed up. My head is spinning and thoughts just keep replaying in it over and over. I wonder if everyone was right and Sasori really does just pity me. Maybe he pitied me all along. When Sasori puts his journal down next to me and picks up our guitars, I slide his journal into my backpack because everyone's backs are finally turned.

There is a lump in my throat all night long.

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Later when all of the guys have gone home I'm alone with Sasori. He is searching desperately for something and I know exactly what it is and that it is sitting right next to my second period math homework. Sasori is looking like a maniac and has an expression like a deer caught in the headlights. He is frantic and asks me if I saw his journal and I think of the leather-bound book and long to give it back to him and pretend like this never happened, but I can't. I shake my head 'no' instead.

I make a lame excuse about how I have to leave so I turn around, about to walk out the door, but Sasori stops me. He looks hard into my eyes and just before I am about to crack he hugs me tightly and tells me he loves me.

A little part of me died inside.

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Sasori got in a fight with Chiyo again. He calls me around 11:00 pm on his cell phone from outside my window. I still feel guilty about having taken his journal and it keeps me from reading it. I nervously dram my backpack deep into the confinement of my closet before I open my window and call down to him. When our eyes meet I see that he has been crying.

Sasori clambers up the drain pipe and into my second floor window. His foot gets caught on the sill and he stumbles into my arms. His breath reeks of alcohol and I know he'll have one hell of a hangover tomorrow morning. Still, I gather him up and lay him on my bed where he almost instantly passes out. I change into some sleeping clothes before pulling off Sasori's shirt and skinny jeans and then climb into my bed as well. Even though I feel warm arms envelop me I cannot sleep because there is something pulling fiercely on my heart and it lives in the pit of my stomach.

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I skip second period and sit alone behind the school dumpster. I pull out the neat leather bound book where I'm certain that all my demons have been coming from. I run my fingers over that smooth cover and breathe in deeply. I am shaking slightly and swallow a nervous lump growing in my throat. I know that I shouldn't have taken it, but like Sasori's strong arms it pulls me in and is so addicting, I can't get away.

I think, _just one entry_, but it's so addicting. It's like a bag of lays chips and I'm having one after another after another and the salty taste stains my mouth. Soon they're all gone and I'm left with a stomach ache that makes me want to crawl up and die, so I do. I draw myself up into the corner and lay on my side.

There's so much I didn't know about Sasori. His past, his parent's death and apparently how much he truly cares for me. The guilt pools around me, drowning me in my own sorrow.

He wrote;

_ I think Deidara's the one. I can't imagine loving anyone else as much as I love him now. Words cannot express the feelings for him inside of me._

I close my eyes and block out the world for a little while. Sometime around noon, I think, A few kids come up to me. I don't see them but I hear their voices. One of them might have nudged me with their foot, but I'm numb all over so I don't do anything except mumble out an incoherent threat and roll over. Soon enough they leave, still whispering. I know now that I was the one who stabbed their best friend in the back.

I can't believe that I saw so stupid- stupid enough to not take Sasori's word over Sakura's and Ino's. I was stupid and selfish not to see how much Sasori needed and still needs me. Sasori is still so broken up inside and he wants me to fill the void in his life that has been empty for so long, but I failed to do so. I'm a shitty boyfriend and an even shittier best friend.

I don't see how I could miss so many signals now that I know they were there. How could I not recognize something was up when he spaced out so many times in the middle of our conversations or how he would always try to talk to me before we picked up our guitars, but then quickly changed his mind? I'm such a loser, always turning my back on the most important person in my life.

The bell rings again and I know afternoon classes are starting. All of a sudden it dawns on me that Sasori never needs to know that I took his journal. I could just place it back in the garage right where he left it. Sasori would find it in a few days if I hid it well so it didn't seem suspicious when he didn't find it earlier. I can pretend that I never read it because to me, Sasori will always be Sasori and I will always love him.

I sit up and reach over to grab the journal off the asphalt, but it's gone.

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**CLIFFHANGER OMG NO WAYS! xD How did you guys like that chapter? I hope this chapter does a lot better, the last one didn't do too good apparently so sorry about that. ^^ AND I am especially sorry about how long this one took to get up, but I think I might have made up for that because it is a bit longer than the average length that my chapters have been... well not really, but you guys don't have to know that. PLEASE R&R I LOVE YOU GUYS!**

**Especially those of you who have supported me and added my story to you favourites or alerts lists. It makes me happy to know that someone will enjoy this as much as I like writing it. :) **


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey everybody! I decided to do another chapter real quick so that it can make up for how short the last one was, and how long it took to get on the web. Enjoy! **

**-I just thought that because a few of you have been starting to read the book "In the Garage" That I would mention that I kept plot very close to the book's so if you don't want to spoil the book, you probably shouldn't continue reading.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it, nor do I own the book "In the Garage". I wish I did, but I don't because I am not awesome enough. :'(**

**Warning: Will contain yaoi, don't like, you probably have a life. There is also death in this story in later chapters, don't like, grow a pair. This story also may contain self-harm and depression. Don't like, well, I don't either but deal with it.**

**Now, ON WITH THE FICTION!**

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_For some people, being accepted by their peers can mean the difference between life and death._

_ -In the Garage_

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My heart races as I run into the school. I push through the crowd of kids in the front foyer. A little ways down the hall after jumping down half a flight of stairs I stop running to catch my breath and someone's cell rings.

"Oh my god!" says the girl, "Your kidding, right?" After a brief silence she makes a disgusting face and sneers, "sick!" She hangs up the phone and turns to her friend whispering, but she is looking right at me. I wonder, what the hell is going on?

"It can't be true!" A guy to my left shouts and it startles me. I try to hurry past the crowded hall and the closer I get to Sasori's locker the more claustrophobic I get. People are crowding the hall like cholesterol in a fat man's artery.

"Yeah it's so true," his friend laughs, "I kinda suspected something was going on." I don't stick around long enough to find out what everyone is talking about though.

What could possibly be so important that half of the school is condensed so close to my destination? People are starting to turn and look at me. Guys keep patting me on the back and saying things like "nice one," and "good call". I have to tell Sasori that someone has his journal. I don't have to tell him I took it yet but he really needs to know.

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I run into the back of some girl who is texting her friend and trip. I hit the ground and as she looks down on me she says, "Hey, aren't you Deidara?" I quickly blurt out 'no' and hurry to my feet and almost slam into somebody else. I start to run again scanning the blurred faces for the only one that matters.

Oh good, Sasori is coming out of the cafeteria surrounded by the guys. He sees me, waves; then goes for his cell at the exact same time that mine goes off. When I press the speaker roughly to my ear I hear;

"Sasori's my best friend, I mean, he thinks so, but I read his journal. He's gay and I don't like him…" It's me talking, but I never said that. Someone must have broken up a conversation I had before and put it back together to sound this way.

I see Sasori, his face white as he holds his cell close to his ear and leans on the door frame. His shirt rumples as he slides down the wall, and his hair messed up because he's running his free hand through it. I don't know what he's thinking because his eyes won't meet mine and I'm internally screaming

LOOK

AT

ME.

But he won't because his feet are the most interesting thing in the world. He really did love me, but it doesn't matter because I ruined both of our lives the moment I touched that leather bound cover. Tears spring to my eyes and as much as I want to hold them back I can't because I've finally found something worth crying over. I want to run to him and hold him tight, tell him that I didn't say those things; that I never would say those things, but I try to turn to run in the opposite direction. Before I make it Sasori looks up at me and I can see the happiness drain from his face. I see his heart break before me and I finally understand.

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I break away to look into the faces of my peers. Everyone is staring at us and whispering and pointing. Two faces stand out in the crowd and I know instantly that they set this up to tear us down. My legs go weak and I feel nauseous. I know now that whatever I do from here, everyone knows. They know all of his secrets.

It's not only me that they hate now, it's Sasori too.

And it's _**all**__** my fault**_.

The mirror in front of me reflects a face that I no longer recognize. It is a face of someone plastic, a face of someone who hides behind lies and a face of someone selfish and stupid.

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I slowly peel away the Velcro that holds the leather to my hand and slip it off. After discarding my glove and throwing them to the side, I flex my fingers and turn my right hand over, palm facing up. This is what had caused it all. This is what has turned my life into what it is. If it weren't for my hands perhaps Sasori and I would have never met. Maybe Sasori would have fallen in love with a cute girl, for god sakes not either of those two whores, and he would have never been in this mess. But these hands ruined everything. The drove my mother away, drove my peers away and drove Sasori away. They took his journal and not only made everyone hate me, but hate him as well.

A picture of Sasori's face flashes through my mind and I clench my eyes shut and force my fist through the mirror on the wall. Glass flies across the boy's locker room floor. The glass makes a beautiful sound as it shatters even more on the cold tile. I slowly open my eyes again and he's still there, but now it's not only him. His empty eyes tear into my soul along with those of my mothers.

The voices from my past echo in my ears as my hands open up and the scars are now mouths telling me everything I've ever done wrong.

They are my mother shouting at me and calling me ugly right before she left.

They are the fifth grade bullies chanting "Freak, freak."

They are the voices of the girls who leave me notes telling myself to 'just die already'.

They are Sasori and Ino telling me to take Sasori's journal and soon enough they are Chiyo.

Oh god, Chiyo. If she ever found out she would throw Sasori out without a second glance. His only family left would abandon him the way I had.

Lastly, they are Sasori. They are quiet now, but still the loudest of them all and I can tell. It's over.

I can't take it. I can't handle Sasori hating me like everyone else. I have to make the voices

STOP.

And there's only one way how.

The only way to remove the voices is to remove what is making them scream. I only scream a little when the shard of glass cuts through the mouths that does not speak, and then when it slashes the mouth that does.

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Inside our school, inside the boy's locker room and inside the last stall on the left I lie bleeding on the cold tile floor. The puddle left on the floor dampens my body but I don't get up because on the inside, I'm already dead.

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**OH MY GOD, THE ANGST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**D: This was by far, my favorite chapter but I swear I almost cried. It's just too sad. Don't worry guys! He's not dead! Really, I promise! Don't hate me!**

**I NEED VIRTUAL LOVE TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER :'(**

… **or cookies**

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**Ok, so where the double lines are in the story is where Deidara retreated to the lockeroom and for those of you who didn't pick up on it, Sakura and Ino were the ones who told the school and changed Deidara's voice and stole Sasori's journal. In later chapters you will find out why. :0**


	9. Chapter 9

So…. Merry Christmas? Please don't maul me! But I have good news! I'M UPDATING AGAIN!!!!!! :D

Thank you to all of the wonderful people who read and reviewed this story. Also, thanks for kicking me in the butt to actually get this one out, You-Know-Who-You-Are.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything, I know, it sucks. If I did, it probably would be rated a bit higher too...

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The glare of the window hurts my eyes and I squint. I'm tucked too tight into a bed and the smell of antisceptic burns my nostrils. I am so dizzy I feel like puking. I look up at the ceiling and my eyes follow the dark crack all the way to the wall, or wait, is that a wire? It ends at an ugly grey camera staring back at me and it makes me uncomfortable. It sticks out against the hideous popcorn stucco but my vision is getting blurry and it's starting to blend together. The room is small and disgusting, exactly where I should be.

I try to rub my eyes because they're so itchy I can't stand it but I can't move my arms. I jerk at them again but they just won't move. With the greatest amount of force I have probably ever used I am able to roll my head to the side and see that they are handcuffed to the bed.

Shit! What the hell is going on? I'm tied up and drugged and I can't think properly. A great fear wells inside me and my heart beats so fast against my chest it's going to break. I panic and start jerking my hands away from the bed again but its no use. All I am doing is wasting my energy and I can only see black now. I try to call out but my throat is so dry I can't make a sound, I don't even remember the sound of my voice. I can't even open my mouth. I am wailing silently inside my head. A hand grabs my shoulder and I am struck with such fear, but only one thought runs through my head.

So that's what I sound like.

* * *

"They tied your hands to the bed because you almost killed yourself in your sleep." Someone says from beside me. I turn my head towards the voice and there's this guy sitting beside me. I am in a different room now, but everything is still white and this boy could easily be just a stain on the wall. His blonde hair is slicked back and he is propped up with several pillows. His purple eyes are glued to the television. Was he the one that was talking to me?

I go back to staring. I don't know how long I have been staring at the stain on the wall but out of the corner of my eyes I see him flipping through channels at a pace that could give seizures. He finally sighs and looks away from the TV only to set his extraordinary eyes on me.

"Welcome to the Fuck Ward, My name is Hidan and I'll be your shit-filled tour guide this afternoon. Please follow me so we can explore the Hellhole that is this place." With that the boy gathered himself off the bed and strolled right out the door. Seems he had taken himself on the tour instead of me.

I clear my throat, "Fuck Ward?" I whisper his words back to him, but he is already gone.

But how?

* * *

Later that evening a nurse had come to show me around. After her tour she had dropped mo off in some type of common room where several kids were sitting around doing various activities. I see Hidan lounging in a chair with his feet up watching some sort of soap opera on the TV. When I approach him he barely turns his head to see me and his eyes look fogged over. The bright purple they were before now seems muggy and distant. Before I could even open my mouth he speaks.

"You mutilated your hands and face; where else do you think they would put you?" He turns back to the TV and he leaved me standing there confused. Eventually I take a seat next to him. Not another word is spoken for the rest of the night.

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So, this short chapter is done now. It's shorter than I expected but I always have short chapter. I know, I'm a dastardly evil person.

I am going to try to get another one up on boxing day, but it might have to wait until the 28th. I will try VERY HARD for you guys to get into a routine. BTW, HIDAN MAKES AN APPEARANCE! Yey! Finally! I love Hidan, he's great, but not as great as the main characters which I am happy are alive… well…for now.


	10. Chapter 10

Okay! So this is the second chapter in what I like to call "Part Two" of the story. Sadly, you guys probably won't be seeing Sasori anytime soon. D: Don't hurt me! I am also very, very late in updating…. As usual…..

By the way, that extremely long run on sentence is SUPPOSED to be there ;P

Disclaimer: As usual, don't own anything

Hope you guys like it!

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I sit, slumped in a metal folding chair, in the middle of a room full of white. Everyone else in this room is sitting in the same way in the same chair within the same starched white walls. I know no one here, but the councilors try to tell us we are all the same. Everyone here hurts themselves, and everyone will stay here until we won't do it again… or so they think.

Personally I know that almost everyone here whether they have been here for two days or two years will do the exact same thing when they get home as they did when they left home. That is, if they even make it home. Hidan tries to tell me that no matter how long they keep him here he will live forever so it is only a small blip of his existence that they are wasting. I am not immortal and I doubt that he really is either, but will I have to stay here forever?

The people here won't look at my hands, my bandages, or me. I also don't look at their faces, their bandages, or them. Instead, everyone in the room is looking at the same brown fleck in an endless sea of white sitting directly in the middle of the floor. I know my mind is going as I wonder why they have that speck there. Surely the cleaning ladies would clean it up, but every time I come back to this room there is the same brown speck on the floor, are we imagining it? No…they must keep it there on purpose. I wonder if people here would start to go crazy if they didn't have something to focus their attention on as soon as they walk in the room. Maybe we would all be forced to look at each other and see exactly how far our minds have really gone. I want to look up at the kids in the circle. I want to be able to break the tension that hangs in the air but my mind is so foggy and distant. I can't move my neck because my head is heavy and fuzzy so I leave it hanging. Everything in this room is heavy and I don't even remember how I got here. The air feels as though it is filled with smog but it smells stale. I am tired so I close my eyes. And drift….

Slowly…

Calmly…

Away…

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"Who wants to begin today?" Dr. Tsunade, the shrink, asks our group. I sit and stare because I do not want to talk. I have been here for just over a week and I refuse to talk. Numerous people have told me that they are worried about me and one of these days I will have what she calls a 'psychotic breakdown' but I can't see why. Lately, I can't seem to see why anything is happening. I am waiting for someone else to begin, but their heads must be just as heavy as mine. How can my body be so heavy when it seems to just be full of air?

"Deidara?" Doc calls my name, "You want to begin?" At first I wonder who she is talking about before I realize that it is, in fact, me. I shake my head with what seems to be a gratuitous amount of effort. "Are you sure you can't just tell us a little about yourself?" She keeps prying, but I just don't respond. After what seems like an eternity she sighs and turns to someone else. A tension is barely lifted and a pressure I didn't know was there is prominent between my eyes.

A piercing scream splits the air and a nurse comes barreling down the corridor. She is yelling for Doc so Doc sprints out of the room towards the sound. Not one head in the room looks up. I can't seem to care.

* * *

My head is clearing and I am really getting into the soap opera that Hidan is watching. It's about some dude who divorced his wife to find out that she was his half sister because his dad was a lecher and fooled around a little too much but it's okay because he still loves her.

A female nurse with a hairy upper lip is suddenly in front of the TV. "Hey bitch; if I didn't want to watch TV I would have just turned it off!" I try to dismiss her and Hidan puts in his two cents as well, which turns out to be just a lot of cussing. She shoves a paper in my face for me to sign. I grunt and scowl before scribbling my signature down. It's the same paper that they shove in my face everyday so far. It's a no suicide contract. In other words, it's just a load of bull shit. The 'almighty contract' keeps me from hurting myself because signing it everyday will really keep me from killing myself if I really want to. Seriously, it has nothing to do with the fact that they strip search you for anything from a knife to a toothpick.

Hairy lip nurse hands me a pill and a glass of water. "This will make you feel better," she says.

"Sure it will," I retort, but none the less, I still take the pill and down the glass of water before shoving it back at her. She checks my mouth to see that I really have taken the pill before she turns to Hidan.

"Read and sign this," she says, shoving a similar paper towards him.

"Shove it, my soap is on," he growls back, but she is persistent. She shoves the whole clipboard at him now.

"Sign it!" Hidan looks disgusted but he takes the clipboard and quickly scrawls his name down.

"I will not hurt myself again!" He practically yells at her while accentuating every exaggerated syllable that comes out of his mouth. The nurse makes sure Hidan swallows his pill as well before she waddles out of the room, clearly stalking her next victim. I sit and try to get back to the soap, but my head is starting to feel foggy again and glowing worms crawl around the television. Soon I am too tired to understand what is going on in the soap and what the actors is saying just turns to mumbling, but the actor himself looks kind of like the puppet I bought for Sasori which reminds me of the band, which reminds me of how we found Itachi and how I used to be Sasori's friend… more than his friend and all of this just reminds me of how I haven't seen Sasori lately because now we're not friends, but Sasori once told me that he couldn't breathe without me, which means that he isn't breathing but it reminds me of how I read that in the journal I took and everyone found out he was gay but none the less, he isn't breathing which means that he's dead which just means that everything is all my fault and I just HAVE TO GET OUT because I need to SAVE HIM,

But I am too tired to do anything so I turn to Hidan, whose eyes have turned into a dull shade as he watches the soap. Slowly I turn back to the TV as well and I realize that that actor reminds me of a puppet I bought for Sasori once, which reminds me that I need to go somewhere, but I can't remember why…

Where is Sasori anyways?


	11. Chapter 11

_**WOW! 50+ Reviews! =D**_

_This is amazing, I want to thank everyone so much! I realize that there have been a few questions I have been ignoring . and I feel really bad so I am just going to take a second or two to clear things up and thank people properly =D Of course you could obviously just skip this part and scroll right down to the story._

_NOTES:_

_-Excuse of the day: Okay so exam week started last week, sue me. I am took time off my studying schedual so that I can write this for you because I have been getting brain cramps and I needed a change of scenery, not that I don't love you guys enough to write it anyways. I know this is waaaaaaaaaay off topic but, good news! Last exam tomorrow xD chemistry so wish me luck!_

_- Yes, Hidan loves soaps, feel free to sue me again xD Doesn't he seem like the type tho o.o?_

_-OKAY! So I've had a few people ask me what the novel_ In the Garage_ is actually about, frankly it follows the plot pretty closely except that the two main characters are **not** romantically involved and they are of opposite genders. PLUS I fully intend to add my own twist to the plot before I conclude this story so I warn you, BE PREPARED!_

_-I am sorry, I forget almost all of the details about the book that this is about because I actually read it about two years ago :/ I wrote most of the first part of the story while it was fresh in my mind which is why I have some quotes and stuff, but now I can't even find it at my local library D:_

_- Shadow of Astarael, Sorry about causing your brain hemmorage a couple chapters ago ._. This one's for you to make up for it =)_

_-I LOVE all of you reviewers! You're all so great and supportive! It's awesome, I couldn't do this without you._

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"Who's going to start today?" Tsunade asks as I sit in group. When nobody raises their hand or volunteers immediately her eyes rest on someone on the other side of the circle and I sigh a breathe of relief. "Hidan? Why don't you share something with the group today?"

As close as I have gotten to Hidan, I have never heard from him why he tried to kill himself. My interest has peaked and I lean forward in my chair to see Hidan's face as he talks.

"Screw off," he says while crossing his arms. He looks around at all of the faces in the circle and takes a quick second glance at me. "I wouldn't have died anyways," he says. I sit back in my seat properly and blow some loose hair out of my face. For some reason I was a little disappointed.

Tsunade frowns and scribbles something on her clipboard. This time she tries someone new. "Sasuke?" she calls out, "What about you?" I snap to attention and look to where her attention is focused towards the back of the room. Sure enough there is Sasuke, one of the boys who used to make fun of me when I went to school sitting high and mighty on his folding chair, but something is different about him. He isn't sitting as high as he should and he doesn't appear as mighty as I remembered him. Instead, with his raven hair and his bloodshot eyes he seems dead to me.

Sasuke looks at Tsunade and he begins to shake, but not just any shaking, he seems to be convulsing and it looks like the cheap chair he is sitting on is about to break. I can tell Doc is getting worried, but watching him is almost mesmerizing. Right when it looked like Tsundae was about to say something, Sasuke burst.

"I HATE MY BROTHER! I hate his godforsaken eyes! I hate how mother and father love him and I hate how they don't care about me! I hate how he's the best at everything and I am always supposed to be more like him, but I don't want to be like him, but I HAVE to be like him and the only way to get away was to down a bottle of pills and hope I die but,

**"I **

**JUST **

**DIDN'T **

**DIE!**"

* * *

"Well that's an easy way to get out of group therapy!" says Hidan cheerily.

"Yeah, but then you get a one on one with Doc and that sucks just as much," I tell him, "I'd rather sit in a group and not say anything any day."

"True," he goes, "why did you try to kill yourself in the first place anyways?"

"I didn't," I tell him.

"You did too!" This kid from our group named Naruto goes, "Sasuke told me, he goes to your school and he said that he heard the tape of you telling Sasori that you didn't love him even though you were his boyfriend and all."

"So that doesn't mean anything. I didn't even say that shit anyways. It was fixed and I didn't try to off myself, you weren't there anyways," I snap back at him.

"Like anyone believes that," Naruto snorts.

"Well you're here too, you probably tried to off yourself, but I sure as hell didn't!" I shove him hard against the wall and glare at him.

Naruto glares back at me and spits out, "I overdosed by mistake, you tried to kill yourself because everybody knows you're a faggot and Sasori hates you!"

"Shut the fuck up!" I scream as I lunge forward, but Hidan has beaten me to it and has already hit him between the eyes. Although I didn't think he fell hard enough, he probably got the message so I stomp off with Hidan.

"Shut the fuck up?" He repeats, "am I rubbing off on you?"

"Maybe," I smile at him, "could have had worse people rubbing off on me though I suppose," I say offhandedly and Hidan throws his arm, around my shoulder.

"So if you weren't trying to off yourself, what were you trying to do?" He asks.

"Trying to get rid of the mouths on my hands," I say sheepishly and look towards the floor.

"By cutting them off?"

"Yeah"

"Well that was stupid."

"…Yeah…"

* * *

"They put me in here because nobody believes in Jashinism and they're all going to hell." I am eating lunch with Hidan and daydreaming about getting out of this place when I hear him and he startles me awake. It's not that he was talking particularly loud, nor is it that him talking is particularly surprising, but I doubt that anyone here has heard him talk about his past and Hidan had been pretty quiet since group.

"Who's they?" I ask wearily.

"My parents, I mean seriously, fuckers were all 'fine and dandy' when they just thought that it was my hobby to rip open rodents in our backyard with cutlery, but as soon as I stick a piece of fine china in **ME**, the assholes lock me up with people like _you_!" Hidan practically yells at me. He might not be the most complimentary friend there is, but right now he is my only one. "You know they probably cared more that I busted their fucking china plate more than the fact that I busted open my gut." Hidan's eyes have become red and I can tell that he is straining to keep himself composed before he nearly jumps out of his chair. "I have to go," he says almost quietly. Before Hidan leaves, I think even as he looks at me now, he doesn't see the little details you can pick at and he doesn't see the bandages around half my face and arms. He just sees a person who happens to be called Deidara, and happens to be the only one who listens to him rant.

* * *

As the people around here got more accustomed to me they've begun to stare and whisper when I walk by. Hidan has returned from his leave and we are no longer in the cafeteria. Instead, we have taken up residence on the sofa while watching our soaps. As I realized earlier, Hidan is pretty upset and we don't talk as we watch the characters move about on the TV set. It's easier to follow the plot now that Tsunade has changed my meds and my head is a little clearer, but it's also harder to remember what has already happened.

Out of the corner of my eye I see a boy walking towards us grinning maliciously and my chest tightens up. Gossip tends to travel fast even in a place like this where every kid has more problems than the last. By now, I bet that the whole ward knows that I am gay due to Naruto's outburst this morning. I turn my head and glare daggers at the boy as he approaches.

"Hey faggot, what's shoved up your ass?" While he was talking, the kid has made his way around to my side of the couch and has gotten an uncomfortable distance away from my face. He is vile and as he leans in to talk in a hushed voice I want to vomit because he doesn't smell _right_.

Hidan is smart, but he must have forgot to check if the nurses were looking before he clocks the kid in the face. "Don't call my friends anything but their name you son of a bitch!"

Hidan has surprised me again with his willingness to stick up for me. He doesn't take shit from anyone and I like that. It kinda reminds me of someone I know, but I must not have known them very well because I can't seem to remember much about them.

* * *

My head is pounding and a bright light is sneaking its way in-between my eyelashes. When I open my eyes and look to the bed across from me I see Hidan looking back at me just as groggy. He says something and I ask him to repeat it. The first couple of words just come out in a jumbled mess until I can understand his message. He is trying to tell me that he thinks our meds have been changed back due to the fight yesterday between him and that asshole, which quickly turned into a fight that I joined in on. I hope we can go back to the other meds soon because I can't concentrate on anything and out of the corner of my eyes I can see something red, but every time I try to look at it properly it just keeps disappearing. I close my eyes and try to sleep some more, I didn't want to go see Tsunade anyways.

* * *

_Done! o.o Hope you like :) Sorry so short, but it was hard to write....  
_

_R&R?  
_


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